Linlarnfudcatyogkam is a god.

She takes the form of a massive, tiresome narwhal.

Linlarnfudcatyogkam created the world four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Linlarnfudcatyogkam, she will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Linlarnfudcatyogkam, she will turn you into a giant slug.

Linlarnfudcatyogkam's most sacred site is Polagam in India.

Linlarnfudcatyogkam's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear yellow clothing.

2. Never think about chromosomes.

3. Erect a large iron sculpture of Linlarnfudcatyogkam on top of all buildings.

4. Hide from indigo mites for they are unholy.

5. Never think about quantum field theory.