Biftinnab Ontbessdisscin is a god.

It takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, competent clam.

Biftinnab Ontbessdisscin created an atom nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Biftinnab Ontbessdisscin, it will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Biftinnab Ontbessdisscin, it will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Biftinnab Ontbessdisscin's most sacred site is Vinezac in France.

Biftinnab Ontbessdisscin's Holy Commandments

1. Never pour water over plants.

2. Never cross crossroads at midnight.

3. Never sprint near dogs.

4. Draw representations of dwarf planets on the walls of your dwelling place.

5. Do not dye your hair yellow.