Fabspagtaf is a god.

He takes the form of a fat, benevolent raccoon.

Fabspagtaf created the Cigar Galaxy four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Fabspagtaf, he will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Fabspagtaf, he will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Fabspagtaf's most sacred site is Karikalampakkam in India.

Fabspagtaf's Holy Commandments

1. Never mention great tits.

2. Do not listen to music.

3. Do not drink water in cyan rooms.

4. Fast once a month.

5. Always make sure there are no moths in a building before entering it.