Labgenlan is a god.

She takes the form of a minute, unfair toad.

Labgenlan created humankind eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Labgenlan, she will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Labgenlan, she will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Labgenlan's most sacred site is Elatos in Greece.

Labgenlan's Holy Commandments

1. Learn eight new languages a year.

2. Do not chop down trees.

3. Never think about spacetime near dolphins while wearing indigo coats and balancing five copper spheres on your arms.

4. Never talk about quantum mechanics near swans while wearing mauve stockings and balancing six tin spheres on your hands.

5. Run away if four snakes approach from the west.