Nurtquilltailsinquimbonyat is a god.

She takes the form of a six hundred metre long, unfair cow.

Nurtquilltailsinquimbonyat created energy five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Nurtquilltailsinquimbonyat, she will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Nurtquilltailsinquimbonyat, she will attempt to scare you with earthquakes.

Nurtquilltailsinquimbonyat's most sacred site is Gara in Hungary.

Nurtquilltailsinquimbonyat's Holy Commandments

1. Nurtquilltailsinquimbonyat loves aardvarks, so they must be honoured.

2. Do not keep nine swans in a large pit.

3. Never think about spacetime.

4. Always help bats.

5. Always make sure there are no porpoises in a building before entering it.