Omtcamhub is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely fat, witless cat.

Omtcamhub created snails three billion years ago.

If you believe in Omtcamhub, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Omtcamhub, he will send you a strongly worded letter.

Omtcamhub's most sacred site is Wukan in China.

Omtcamhub's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

2. Tortoises are unholy and should not be approached.

3. Walk at least nine thousand metres per day.

4. Never talk about stars.

5. Do not laugh in public.