Nelyak is a god.

He takes the form of a massive, emotional turtle.

Nelyak created carbon six million years ago.

If you believe in Nelyak, he will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Nelyak, he will turn you into a worm.

Nelyak's most sacred site is Letino in Italy.

Nelyak's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear fawn jumpers.

2. Never play with disobedient children.

3. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

4. Never talk about moons.

5. Worship no other gods but Nelyak.