Gofvengum is a god.

He takes the form of a three thousand metre long, proud hamster.

Gofvengum created bats four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gofvengum, he will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Gofvengum, he will say rude things about you at parties.

Gofvengum's most sacred site is Shengyou in China.

Gofvengum's Holy Commandments

1. Retreat if three tortoises approach from the north.

2. Always make a point of helping unfortunate squirrels.

3. Never talk about bacteria.

4. Paint representations of dwarf planets on the walls of your dwelling place.

5. Never talk about mites.