Hivcutnell is a god.

She takes the form of an one thousand metre long, ill-tempered finch.

Hivcutnell created the world nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Hivcutnell, she will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Hivcutnell, she will attempt to scare you with earthquakes.

Hivcutnell's most sacred site is Polydrosos in Greece.

Hivcutnell's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear carbon on your body.

2. Do not stand on grass.

3. Your children must be taught to worship Hivcutnell.

4. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

5. Never mention monkeys.