Sitappvin Zimweehabpakhantetti is a god.

She takes the form of a six thousand metre long, unsympathetic owl.

Sitappvin Zimweehabpakhantetti created the world six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Sitappvin Zimweehabpakhantetti, she will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Sitappvin Zimweehabpakhantetti, she will turn you into a sparrow.

Sitappvin Zimweehabpakhantetti's most sacred site is Leswalt in Scotland.

Sitappvin Zimweehabpakhantetti's Holy Commandments

1. Never leap near tapirs.

2. Never eat green fruit.

3. Look mercifully on unfortunate porpoises.

4. Never mention aardvarks.

5. Do not covet oxen.