Cannurlvan is a god.

She takes the form of an one thousand metre long, unsympathetic lobster.

Cannurlvan created Europe two million years ago.

If you believe in Cannurlvan, she will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Cannurlvan, she will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Cannurlvan's most sacred site is Vinezac in France.

Cannurlvan's Holy Commandments

1. Never paint your face violet.

2. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Cannurlvan.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

4. Do not take Cannurlvan's name in vain.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.