Butgedbid is a god.

It takes the form of a planet-sized, staggering elephant.

Butgedbid created bats two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Butgedbid, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Butgedbid, it will say rude things about you at parties.

Butgedbid's most sacred site is Omaweneno in Botswana.

Butgedbid's Holy Commandments

1. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

2. Always wear red.

3. Fast once a month.

4. Worship no other gods but Butgedbid.

5. Paint representations of dwarf planets on the walls of your dwelling place in magenta.