Jadwadlipcebfothasloopbonk is a god.

She takes the form of a five hundred metre long, resourceful duck.

Jadwadlipcebfothasloopbonk created the Whirlpool Galaxy nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Jadwadlipcebfothasloopbonk, she will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Jadwadlipcebfothasloopbonk, she will destroy your favourite solar system.

Jadwadlipcebfothasloopbonk's most sacred site is Amrit in Egypt.

Jadwadlipcebfothasloopbonk's Holy Commandments

1. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Run away from green gulls, for they are unholy.

3. Paint representations of galaxies on the walls of your dwelling place.

4. Never think about thermodynamics near sharks while wearing fawn hats and balancing four tin spheres on your hands.

5. Hide if three shrews approach from the west.