Dabjapgepcam is a god.

It takes the form of a blubbery, compassionate monkey.

Dabjapgepcam created Europe four million years ago.

If you believe in Dabjapgepcam, it will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Dabjapgepcam, it will destroy your favourite solar system.

Dabjapgepcam's most sacred site is Landsort in Sweden.

Dabjapgepcam's Holy Commandments

1. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

2. Always stare at clouds.

3. Never look at moons.

4. Do not chop down trees.

5. Paint representations of black holes on the walls of your dwelling place.