Hakfabwan is a god.

She takes the form of a small, quiet swallow.

Hakfabwan created an up quark eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Hakfabwan, she will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Hakfabwan, she will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Hakfabwan's most sacred site is Panayadikuppam in India.

Hakfabwan's Holy Commandments

1. Do not chop down trees.

2. Do not take Hakfabwan's name in vain.

3. You must love Hakfabwan.

4. Your children must be taught to worship Hakfabwan.

5. Never write about cell theory.