Wapdanbunmidbopdonmitlarg is a god.

She takes the form of a corpulent, boastful giraffe.

Wapdanbunmidbopdonmitlarg created energy five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Wapdanbunmidbopdonmitlarg, she will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Wapdanbunmidbopdonmitlarg, she will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Wapdanbunmidbopdonmitlarg's most sacred site is Basalorum in Sweden.

Wapdanbunmidbopdonmitlarg's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about asteroids.

2. Never mention tortoises.

3. Worship no other gods but Wapdanbunmidbopdonmitlarg.

4. Do not stand on grass.

5. Do not commit murder.