Tunbasstal is a god.

It takes the form of a very fat, proud gnu.

Tunbasstal created tapeworms eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tunbasstal, it will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Tunbasstal, it will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Tunbasstal's most sacred site is Dzhanka in Bulgaria.

Tunbasstal's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink water in cyan rooms.

2. Do not trade with those who eat cucumbers.

3. Do not chop down trees.

4. Never talk about comets.

5. Never think about quantum mechanics near squirrels while wearing yellow tights and balancing three platinum spheres on your legs.