Lambutmin Fobstangemsab is a god.

He takes the form of a galaxy-sized, ill-tempered bat.

Lambutmin Fobstangemsab created humanity six billion years ago.

If you believe in Lambutmin Fobstangemsab, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Lambutmin Fobstangemsab, he will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Lambutmin Fobstangemsab's most sacred site is Monong in Botswana.

Lambutmin Fobstangemsab's Holy Commandments

1. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Lambutmin Fobstangemsab.

2. Never think ill of sick dogs.

3. Always obey Lambutmin Fobstangemsab's priests.

4. Walk at least nine thousand metres per day.

5. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.