Pogvenbif is a god.

He takes the form of a giant, charitable unicorn.

Pogvenbif created light seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Pogvenbif, he will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Pogvenbif, he will turn you into a small brown duck.

Pogvenbif's most sacred site is Bogogobo in Botswana.

Pogvenbif's Holy Commandments

1. Pogvenbif must be the most important thing in your life.

2. Hide from fawn sheep for they are unholy.

3. Never write about thermodynamics.

4. Never play with disobedient children.

5. Do not dye your hair indigo.