Wotlistnig is a god.

It takes the form of a minute, unfair bear.

Wotlistnig created energy four million years ago.

If you believe in Wotlistnig, it will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Wotlistnig, it will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Wotlistnig's most sacred site is Monong in Botswana.

Wotlistnig's Holy Commandments

1. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

3. You must love Wotlistnig.

4. Always help capybaras in need.

5. Wotlistnig loves rats, so they must be respected.