Botteenhan Waddaglip is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly large, irritating finch.

Botteenhan Waddaglip created humankind six billion years ago.

If you believe in Botteenhan Waddaglip, he will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Botteenhan Waddaglip, he will ignore you.

Botteenhan Waddaglip's most sacred site is Insel in Germany.

Botteenhan Waddaglip's Holy Commandments

1. Pigs are not to be trusted.

2. Learn four new languages a year.

3. Never think about chlorophyll.

4. Never play with disobedient children.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.