Tettinarqueeg is a god.

He takes the form of a two thousand metre long, resourceful jaguar.

Tettinarqueeg created the Andromeda Galaxy three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tettinarqueeg, he will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Tettinarqueeg, he will laugh at you.

Tettinarqueeg's most sacred site is Nuorgam in Finland.

Tettinarqueeg's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to music.

2. Your children must be taught to worship Tettinarqueeg.

3. Worship no other gods but Tettinarqueeg.

4. Do not chop down trees.

5. Always help frogs in need.