Sigpitlun Tinlimcadyakrawnab is a god.

He takes the form of a heavy, slow shark.

Sigpitlun Tinlimcadyakrawnab created the planet Earth four million years ago.

If you believe in Sigpitlun Tinlimcadyakrawnab, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Sigpitlun Tinlimcadyakrawnab, he will destroy your home solar system.

Sigpitlun Tinlimcadyakrawnab's most sacred site is Vambupet in India.

Sigpitlun Tinlimcadyakrawnab's Holy Commandments

1. Run away if nine great tits approach from the east.

2. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

3. Do not cook food in pots.

4. Show mercy to disobedient children.

5. Never talk about fire.