Dudjonpig is a god.

He takes the form of a chunky, unthinking gnu.

Dudjonpig created the Sun seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Dudjonpig, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Dudjonpig, he will ignore you and hope you go away.

Dudjonpig's most sacred site is Crugybar in Wales.

Dudjonpig's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

2. Run away from black snakes, for they are unholy.

3. Always make a point of helping unfortunate dolphins.

4. Always look after injured tapirs.

5. Never look in ponds.