Sogwanbisslin Dabdonstig is a god.

He takes the form of a two thousand metre long, idiotic cyclops-rhinoceros-snail.

Sogwanbisslin Dabdonstig created snails four years ago.

If you believe in Sogwanbisslin Dabdonstig, he will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Sogwanbisslin Dabdonstig, he will send you a strongly worded letter.

Sogwanbisslin Dabdonstig's most sacred site is Nakke in Denmark.

Sogwanbisslin Dabdonstig's Holy Commandments

1. Do not cook food in pots.

2. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

3. Never eat green fruit.

4. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

5. Always help manatees.