Ripquillort is a god.

He takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, merciful cow.

Ripquillort created bats six billion years ago.

If you believe in Ripquillort, he will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Ripquillort, he will remove you from existence.

Ripquillort's most sacred site is Morella in Spain.

Ripquillort's Holy Commandments

1. Ripquillort must be the most important thing in your life.

2. Do not drink water in fawn rooms.

3. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

4. Never write about dark energy.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.