Parktigrip is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly fat, almighty camel.

Parktigrip created the planet Saturn eight million years ago.

If you believe in Parktigrip, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Parktigrip, he will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Parktigrip's most sacred site is Troms in Norway.

Parktigrip's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a large aluminium sculpture of Parktigrip on top of all buildings.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of titanium.

3. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

4. Do not make images of living things.

5. Never wear dresses.