Bassnurljigdissdussrakpagpid is a god.

He takes the form of a four hundred metre long, dishonest otter.

Bassnurljigdissdussrakpagpid created the Cigar Galaxy six million years ago.

If you believe in Bassnurljigdissdussrakpagpid, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Bassnurljigdissdussrakpagpid, he will destroy your home planet.

Bassnurljigdissdussrakpagpid's most sacred site is Glastonbury Tor in England.

Bassnurljigdissdussrakpagpid's Holy Commandments

1. Bassnurljigdissdussrakpagpid must be the most important thing in your life.

2. Always pray in complete darkness.

3. Do not cook food in pots.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of carbon.

5. Always wear orange.