Hakgudbid is a god.

He takes the form of a thin, loving gorilla.

Hakgudbid created everything that exists eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Hakgudbid, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Hakgudbid, he will turn you into a frog.

Hakgudbid's most sacred site is Denshawai in Egypt.

Hakgudbid's Holy Commandments

1. Do not keep seven tapirs in a large pit.

2. Always pray immersed in water.

3. Seals are unholy and should not be approached.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of tin.

5. Do not stand on grass.