Tarpcutjadlig is a god.

She takes the form of a plump, loving fly.

Tarpcutjadlig created the Milkyway seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tarpcutjadlig, she will not care.

If you do not believe in Tarpcutjadlig, she will have a low opinion of you.

Tarpcutjadlig's most sacred site is Cobbelsdorf in Germany.

Tarpcutjadlig's Holy Commandments

1. Hide from magenta geese for they are unholy.

2. Do not drink alcohol.

3. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Do not cook food in pots.

5. Never think about deoxyribonucleic acid.