Yarlappib is a god.

It takes the form of a large, flying narwhal.

Yarlappib created a strange quark eight million years ago.

If you believe in Yarlappib, it will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Yarlappib, it will laugh at you.

Yarlappib's most sacred site is Poloka in Botswana.

Yarlappib's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear aluminium on your body.

2. Fast once a month.

3. Always wear yellow.

4. Show mercy to disobedient children.

5. Put Yarlappib first in all things.