Kartabkim Yogbimpid is a god.

She takes the form of a slender, unselfish walrus.

Kartabkim Yogbimpid created dark energy nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Kartabkim Yogbimpid, she will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Kartabkim Yogbimpid, she will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Kartabkim Yogbimpid's most sacred site is Camon in France.

Kartabkim Yogbimpid's Holy Commandments

1. Never mention mice.

2. Do not listen to music.

3. Do not dye your hair cyan.

4. Draw representations of asteroids on the walls of your dwelling place.

5. Walk at least three thousand metres per day.