Tunpakrul is a god.

It takes the form of a thin, competent gerbil.

Tunpakrul created Africa nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tunpakrul, it will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Tunpakrul, it will turn you into a sparrow.

Tunpakrul's most sacred site is Yongding in China.

Tunpakrul's Holy Commandments

1. Never think ill of sick cats.

2. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Tunpakrul.

3. Do not speak about peanuts.

4. Always pray immersed in water.

5. Never wear brown shoes.