Kikmantad is a god.

He takes the form of an enormous, unselfish raven.

Kikmantad created tapeworms eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Kikmantad, he will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Kikmantad, he will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Kikmantad's most sacred site is Saint-Sauvan in France.

Kikmantad's Holy Commandments

1. Do not eat carrots.

2. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

4. Never talk about photosynthesis.

5. Do not speak about strawberries.