Kabvinzog is a god.

It takes the form of a microscopic, ruthless faun.

Kabvinzog created the universe four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Kabvinzog, it will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Kabvinzog, it will say rude things about you at parties.

Kabvinzog's most sacred site is Pandamatenga in Botswana.

Kabvinzog's Holy Commandments

1. Do not eat limes.

2. Always stare at clouds.

3. Never chant near hamsters.

4. Erect a giant titanium sculpture of Kabvinzog in the centre of the settlement.

5. Always help manatees.