Govpitfut is a god.

She takes the form of a gargantuan, sage fairy.

Govpitfut created light eight million years ago.

If you believe in Govpitfut, she will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Govpitfut, she will turn you into a puffin.

Govpitfut's most sacred site is Chilhac in France.

Govpitfut's Holy Commandments

1. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Paint representations of dwarf planets on the walls of your dwelling place in orange.

3. Do not keep nine squirrels in a large pit.

4. Do not kill gulls.

5. Always stare at clouds.