Satnibceb Watstaffom is a god.

He takes the form of a very fat, smart troll.

Satnibceb Watstaffom created tapeworms three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Satnibceb Watstaffom, he will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Satnibceb Watstaffom, he will be very unhappy.

Satnibceb Watstaffom's most sacred site is Goldcliff in Wales.

Satnibceb Watstaffom's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a giant turquoise sculpture of Satnibceb Watstaffom in the centre of the settlement.

2. Always treat hamsters with great respect.

3. Fast once a month.

4. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.