Quafzentadjadnuttarngidnur is a god.

He takes the form of a slim, all-knowing snake.

Quafzentadjadnuttarngidnur created dark energy seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Quafzentadjadnuttarngidnur, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Quafzentadjadnuttarngidnur, he will destroy your favourite solar system.

Quafzentadjadnuttarngidnur's most sacred site is Karikalampakkam in India.

Quafzentadjadnuttarngidnur's Holy Commandments

1. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

2. Always wear purple.

3. Erect a giant platinum sculpture of Quafzentadjadnuttarngidnur in the centre of the settlement.

4. Never think about the weak nuclear force near squirrels while wearing indigo hats and balancing three carbon spheres on your neck.

5. Never play with disobedient children.