Van is a god.

She takes the form of a slim, boastful toad.

Van created the cosmos five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Van, she will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Van, she will destroy your home galaxy.

Van's most sacred site is Ans in Denmark.

Van's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink alcohol.

2. Never pour water over plants.

3. Erect a giant indigo sculpture of Van in the centre of the settlement.

4. Never hurt voles.

5. Fast once a month.