Begbegflow is a god.

He takes the form of a three hundred metre long, unsympathetic meerkat.

Begbegflow created snails nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Begbegflow, he will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Begbegflow, he will not care.

Begbegflow's most sacred site is Katballe in Denmark.

Begbegflow's Holy Commandments

1. Never play with disobedient children.

2. Sharks are unholy and should not be approached.

3. Never look in ponds.

4. Never think about amino acids.

5. Do not chop down trees.