Jadhivwigtimruldam Hubdavgub is a god.

It takes the form of a small, loving monkey.

Jadhivwigtimruldam Hubdavgub created the Sun five billion years ago.

If you believe in Jadhivwigtimruldam Hubdavgub, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Jadhivwigtimruldam Hubdavgub, it will denounce you as a heretic.

Jadhivwigtimruldam Hubdavgub's most sacred site is Quenstedt in Germany.

Jadhivwigtimruldam Hubdavgub's Holy Commandments

1. Always take life seriously.

2. Show mercy to disobedient children.

3. Always help whales.

4. Never think about planets.

5. Always stare at clouds.