Nartpadyarp is a god.

She takes the form of a galaxy-sized, amazing dingo.

Nartpadyarp created time and space seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Nartpadyarp, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Nartpadyarp, she will turn you into an amoeba.

Nartpadyarp's most sacred site is Leswalt in Scotland.

Nartpadyarp's Holy Commandments

1. Do not take Nartpadyarp's name in vain.

2. Nartpadyarp loves dolphins, so they must be honoured.

3. Never think about galaxies.

4. Paint representations of moons on the walls of your dwelling place in green.

5. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.