Kanarpsom is a god.

He takes the form of a two thousand metre long, astonishing weasel.

Kanarpsom created silver two million years ago.

If you believe in Kanarpsom, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Kanarpsom, he will destroy your favourite planet.

Kanarpsom's most sacred site is Katteri in India.

Kanarpsom's Holy Commandments

1. Cats are not to be trusted.

2. Show mercy to disobedient children.

3. Put Kanarpsom first in all things.

4. Always obey Kanarpsom's priests.

5. Always take life seriously.