Veendavyok is a god.

She takes the form of a heavy, grumpy badger.

Veendavyok created a Higgs boson nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Veendavyok, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Veendavyok, she will curse you with boils.

Veendavyok's most sacred site is Yongding in China.

Veendavyok's Holy Commandments

1. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Do not eat wheat.

3. Always make sure there are no great tits in a building before entering it.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

5. Learn eight new languages a year.