Cumpidboss is a god.

She takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, selfish fish.

Cumpidboss created Mount Everest two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Cumpidboss, she will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Cumpidboss, she will manifest in front of you.

Cumpidboss' most sacred site is Sirama in Madagascar.

Cumpidboss' Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about gravity near whales while wearing blue boots and balancing five tin spheres on your head.

2. Always wear fawn.

3. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

4. Do not fashion models of living things.

5. Do not sprint in public.