Govnib is a god.

She takes the form of a massive, awesome manatee.

Govnib created life eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Govnib, she will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Govnib, she will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Govnib's most sacred site is Randers in Denmark.

Govnib's Holy Commandments

1. Never pour water over plants.

2. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Do not fashion models of living things.

4. Always help sick pigs.

5. Never play with disobedient children.