Mitfutquag is a god.

He takes the form of a gargantuan, calm cobra.

Mitfutquag created dark matter six billion years ago.

If you believe in Mitfutquag, he will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Mitfutquag, he will boil you in a big pot.

Mitfutquag's most sacred site is Uruachi in Mexico.

Mitfutquag's Holy Commandments

1. Always wear magenta.

2. Do not kill birds.

3. Never feed onions to tapirs while wearing mauve boots.

4. Never write about ribonucleic acid.

5. Feed all hungry ducks.