Ontrillbess is a god.

She takes the form of a huge, intelligent cow.

Ontrillbess created the solar system four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Ontrillbess, she will approve.

If you do not believe in Ontrillbess, she will destroy your home galaxy.

Ontrillbess' most sacred site is Gara in Hungary.

Ontrillbess' Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no ants in a room before entering it.

2. Always pray immersed in water.

3. Do not fashion models of living things.

4. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

5. Never look in ponds.