Nurtdutsomnill is a god.

He takes the form of a minute, loving horse.

Nurtdutsomnill created a charm quark seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Nurtdutsomnill, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Nurtdutsomnill, he will send minions to preach to you.

Nurtdutsomnill's most sacred site is Finnmark in Norway.

Nurtdutsomnill's Holy Commandments

1. Do not trade with those who eat aubergines.

2. Your children must be taught to worship Nurtdutsomnill.

3. Always make sure there are no pigs in a room before entering it.

4. Never look in ponds.

5. Erect a giant zinc sculpture of Nurtdutsomnill in the centre of the settlement.