Bifgomjam is a god.

It takes the form of a corpulent, moody jackal.

Bifgomjam created the planet Jupiter five million years ago.

If you believe in Bifgomjam, it will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Bifgomjam, it will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Bifgomjam's most sacred site is Kerris in England.

Bifgomjam's Holy Commandments

1. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

2. Never think about black holes.

3. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Do not cook food in pots.

5. Always help eagles.