Arpbellfun is a god.

He takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, sapient coyote.

Arpbellfun created parasitic wasps two years ago.

If you believe in Arpbellfun, he will not care.

If you do not believe in Arpbellfun, he will denounce you as a heretic.

Arpbellfun's most sacred site is Trujillo in Spain.

Arpbellfun's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of silver.

2. Arpbellfun loves birds, so they must be honoured.

3. Look mercifully on unfortunate voles.

4. Erect a large lead sculpture of Arpbellfun on top of all buildings.

5. Never skip in holy places.